Sex Basics

You need to learn to walk before you can learn to run. There is no shame in admitting what you don't know ... only shame in not bothering to try and find out. Well now there is really no excuse - here is everything you needed to know, but were afraid to ask. Start here and then explore other areas of the site to refine and develop your knowledge. For those who think they already know it all - check this out, you might be amazed at your knowledge gaps, plus the myths and misinformation you have picked up over the years! Anal Intercourse Experimentation requires communication, consideration, lubrication & good hygiene... Not for everyone, but loved by many who advocate it. Foreplay Every great 'play' - whether in sport, music or sex - begins with a careful & sustained build-up to reach that peak of performance. Consider this... Her First Time When is the right time for the 1st time? How to prepare (mentally & physically - including protection), what to expect & the importance of good communication. His First Time Ignore the peer pressure; the 1st time should be in your own time. When ready here's what to expect, how to prepare & the importance of proper protection. Kissing Not only romantic, but very sexy if done right! Here are lots of techniques to keep your partner desparate to pucker up for more! Mmmmmmmmm... Safe Sex Always practice STD & pregnancy prevention; it is the responsibility of all involved. It's the best tool to make sex fun, positive & safe. Vaginal Intercourse Wondering what the fuss is all about, what sex entails & how to go about making it a success to remember? Here are some of the answers...

Vaginal Intercourse

Vaginal intercourse is more commonly known as sex or coitus in Latin. It is the act of inserting the penis into the vagina, and is one of the most pleasurable experiences that two people can share. This article only covers the basics in what you need to know, make sure to visit the rest of the site for more advanced techniques.

First Time

The first time having sexual intercourse, for many people, is never what they expect. It is never as fulfilling or beautiful as fantasized about or seen in media. Your first time can be a very intimate experience if taken slowly, but do not expect it to be the best sex you will ever have. For women, their first couple of times will be painful and the man needs to take extra special care in going slow and listening to her needs. From the other point of view, many men suffer from a performance anxiety their first time as a result of all this pressure to knock her boots off. If this happens, return back to foreplay, do not let it bother or stop you as it is natural. When the time is right, everything will happen, so be supportive of each other.

First time sexual encounters are usually fumbling, learning experiences, where both people are just starting to understand their partners body and how to make that person satisfied sexually. For more detailed information on your first time, make sure to check out the first time for her and first time for him articles.

Movement

Sex is all about trying to stimulate the sensitive areas of the vagina and penis, how you move should depend on your preferences and the position. Some people enjoy slowly rocking together, others enjoy quick shallow strokes, and yet others love nothing more then the sensation of deep penetration. There is no right or wrong way, as long as both people are enjoying the experience.

A common misconception is that thrusting faster means better sex. Although most people enjoy going really hard right before climax, this point must be reached before the approach feels good. You should always try new things, keep mixing it up by varying your speed and the depth as you build towards climax.

Finding the rhythm may take some time, as will getting your abs, legs, arms and back into shape. Though most positions don’t require a great deal of strength, they all require endurance, so strengthening your muscles is a good place to start.

Positions

Please refer to the sex positions sections for ideas and details.

Safe Sex

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Kissing

Kissing is a delicate art and must be taken slowly with a new partner. It can be part of foreplay/sex - or simply an incredibly enjoyable act of romance and intimacy in its own right.

A good kisser knows how to pace themselves, has an active imagination, and understands what their partner likes or may not expect, but will enjoy. When kissing, remember the following: never slobber (though moistened lips are fine and helpful), don't stare and always pay attention with your non-visual senses (touch, hearing, etc.). Also, there is no such thing as 'too slow'.

If you are unhappy with a kiss then chances are your partner is going to feel the same way. The best thing you can do is relax, and not just in your body, but your face, lips, neck, everywhere. Be relaxed and confident with how you kiss. Let yourself go with the flow of the moment and savour every second of it.

While you are kissing, remember to use your hands, nose, and breath to entice your partner's senses. Everyone enjoys being touched anbd caressed while being kissed. Use your hands to gently caress the cheek, the jawbone, the back, arms, and collarbone. A gentle exhalation of air (remember that good mouth hygiene is important), can provide your partner with extremely light, warm feelings on their face, mouth and neck that are quite arousing.

Never "attack" someone when you kiss them, unless they like that sort of thing - and most people don't. Treat their lips like you would a dangerous creature. Move in slow and prepare for the kiss. Initial contact should be lips only, firm, yet gentle. React to how your partner is kissing. If they speed up, speed up with them. If they slow down, follow suit. Try to synchronize your actions with one another and always pay attention to their body language.

The following is a list of some simple techniques to spice up a kiss:

French Kiss

Usually romantic or sexual in nature (so not usual for a 'first date', in which one person's tongue touches the other's tongue and usually enters his or her mouth.

Triumverat

Kiss between the eyes, on the tip of the nose, and then on the lips.

Top and Bottom

Kiss the top lip, then the bottom lip, then both.

Lickable Lips

Run the tip of your tongue along your partner's lips.

Earlobecstacy

Gently kiss, nibble, and suck on the earlobe.

Facial Lines

Trace the neck and jawbone with your lips and tongue.

The Big Tease

Kiss everywhere but the lips, until your partner pulls you to their lips.

Caressed Lips

Rub your finger gently across their lips and then go in for a kiss.

Sensuality

Look in their eyes and whisper you want to kiss them. Press your lips gently to theirs', caress their lips with yours and then give her/him a passionate kiss.

Cheeky

Gently brush cheeks with your partner.

Eskimo Kiss

Gently rub the tips of your noses together.

Butterfly

Brush eyelashes with your partner. Make a fluttering motion of the eyelash by quickly opening and closing the eye.

Rose Petals

Make a small "O" with your lips. Press your lips against your partner's skin and suck softly. Lift your lips off a little, move over slightly, and repeat.

Hostage Kiss

Cover your lips with tape and get your partner's attention. When they come near, make noises like you're trying to tell them something and motion as if you can't get the tape off. Once they remove the tape from you to hear what you're trying to say, tell them, "I've been saving my lips all day just for you!" Then kiss them passionately.

Strawberry Secret

Place a strawberry in your mouth without your partner knowing. Crush the strawberry in your mouth and feed some to your partner while you kiss.

Cold as Ice

Put a piece of ice in your mouth without your partner knowing. Kiss them on the neck and let the ice softly touch their skin.

Back Kisses

Snuggle up behind your partner and proceed to cover their back with little kisses.

Foot Kisses

When your lover comes home from work, or wherever, wash their feet and give them a massage. While you're giving them the massage, lean over and give little kisses on their feet.

Hershey's Kiss

Try not to kiss your partner all day. Throughout the day leave Hershey's kisses or some sort of romantic candy in places that they will know it's for them. Later in the day start leaving notes with poetry or quotes on kissing for them. After that, leave a love letter describing how you'd like to kiss them and the satisfaction that it would bring you. Once you feel they've had enough teasing, spend sometime rewarding them with lots of kissing! This is rewarding for yourself as well, since you've been thinking about kissing them all day too.

Red Light Kiss

When in the car with your partner, every time you stop at a red light, lean over and kiss them until the light goes green.

Recorded Kiss

Record the sound of yourself blowing a kiss. Then either e-mail it to your partner or leave a note somewhere with instructions to press play.

Video Kiss

Record on a videotape or web cam yourself blowing kisses to your partner and tell them how much you miss them.

E-mail Kiss

Draw or animate a pair of lips kissing. Then send it to your sweetheart.

The Lost Kiss

Look around your partner, looking under things and appearing like you're searching for something. When asked what you're looking for, say "I've been looking for a kiss all day but I can't find one anywhere. Oh wait, I found it." Then give your partner a kiss.

Wake Up Kiss

Before your partner awakes, lean over and kiss their cheek. Then give soft kisses across their cheek until you reach their lips.

Make Up Kisses

At the end of the day, sit down with your partner and ask them how his/her day went. Silently keep track of all the bad things that happened during the day. When he/she is finished, give them a kiss for each one. When asked what you are doing, say you are helping make up for all those bad things.

Post-It Kiss

Make a post-it note trail that leads to your lips. On each note leave a lipstick kiss and an arrow or clue to find the next note. Place the last note over or near your lips.

Full Body Meltdown

While your partner is laying down, slip over to them and start running your tongue, very gently, up their leg, arms, reaching their lips give them a full passionate kiss.

The Grandious Tease

Softly run your fingers across your partner's lips, lure them in to kissing you, but before you kiss, pull away and then go in for the kiss, then pull away again, etc., etc.

Conclusion

So now you know how to 'kiss with a difference', all you need to do is go try it out. Remember, a badly executed kiss is a real turn-off, but a great kiss is memorable and can be totally seductive...

His First Time

Most men are naturally a bit afraid of their first time having sexual intercourse. Will I enjoy it? Will I satisfy her? Is she the right one? Will I be able to get it up? These are all questions that many men think about before their first time. The truth is that your first few times having sex may not be remembered as your best sex ever. Most men agree that the first time is often fast and very clumsy.

Being Ready

The first thing to consider is the person you are with. You want your first time to be with someone you really care for and that really cares for you in return. Since sex will most likely be not that great the first few times, the person you are with is what you’ll want to remember. Many men often rush into sex before they are ready because their friends are doing it and they are ashamed of being virgins. This should not be your reason, there is no correct amount of time to wait; you just want to make sure that you will not regret the decision later.

A few questions you can ask yourself are: Do I trust my partner with my life? Can I see myself having a long relationship with this person? Is she or anyone else pressuring me? Is having sex for me, or for someone else?

Although everyone has anxieties, if you don’t feel you are completely ready, wait. If the gal you are with really cares for you enough, she will understand that this is a big decision, and you don’t want to rush it.

Tips

1. Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable, your bedroom may be the best place.

2. Choose a secure time when roommates / parents / friends won't come barging in.

3. Gain some experience ahead of time. You want to have explored foreplay for quite awhile before you take the plunge. Having a good understanding of how both your bodies work, as well as having played together, will take away much of the tension. Make sure that you feel 100% comfortable in the nude with the lights on, as having sex will be much more intimate then looking at each other.

4. Communication is the most important thing in a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about doing it ahead of time to make sure that you are both thinking the same thing. Getting the topic out in the open allows you to become more comfortable with it.

5. Feel free to say stop when ever you want, whether you haven’t started, are starting, or are well under way. It may be because you are getting cold feet, or something about the situation feels wrong, the reason can be whatever you want, just make sure the person you are with will respect your wishes.

6. If you have erection difficulties, or ejaculate prematurely - something that often happens the first few times - stay positive. Don’t stress it, since stressing it will only cause it to happen again and again. Try to relax. If your erection comes back, it does, and if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. You can try later that day, the next day, next week, or whenever you want, so don’t get yourself down. If you have chosen a good partner, she will understand this and try to help you out with some manual or oral stimulation.

7. Just like men sometimes have erection problems from anxiety, women may have trouble getting wet (known as Excessive Dryness). Be patient and do everything that you would expect her to do if you had the male version of the problem. The problem can be solved to some degree using a water-based lubricant like K-Y Jelly. You can find it and many other lubricants in our online store.

8. Be sure you are both open enough to talk about the experience afterwards, even if not right away. Whether it was as hot as a Spanish soap opera, or as embarrassing as a skit from American Pie, be sure to talk about it. If you can’t talk afterwards, then you are simply not ready to move to this level. Communication is the key!

9. The most important thing you need to know is to enjoy safe sex by using protection. Whether it be to protect your partner from pregnancy, or to prevent contracting STDs, you want to protect yourself to the fullest extent. Until you have been with your partner to get checked for STDs, and you are on other birth control, there is no excuse for not using protection. Although condoms may not always be that pleasant, they are much better then contracting something like genital warts. You can buy condoms at most pharmacies, or order them online from our online store.

10. We shouldn’t have to say this, but we will mention it anyway. Do not go bragging to others about what happened. Sex is something you share with your partner, and there will usually be privacy expectations. It can be a major event in your life, one that you’d love to share with a friend or two, but find out what your partner’s wishes are first, and respect them.

Remember, this experience should be an extremely special and intimate time for both partners. Good luck, and remember that the best sex happens with people you care greatly about.

Her First Time

Most women are naturally a bit afraid of their first time having sex. Will I enjoy it? Will it hurt? Will I satisfy my man? Is he the right one? These are all questions that most women think about before their first time. The truth is that your first few times having sex will not be remembered as your best sex ever. Most women agree that the first time often hurts a little, is uncomfortable, and is often very clumsy. Once you get passed the first few times, you will start enjoying all the pleasures that this type of intimacy has to offer.

Being Ready

The first thing to consider is the person you are with. You want your first time to be with someone you really care for and that really cares for you in return. Since sex will most likely be not that great the first few times, the person you are with is what you’ll want to remember. Many women often rush into sex before they are ready because their friends are doing it or because their boyfriend is expecting it. Neither of these should be a part of your reason, there is no correct amount of time to wait; you just want to make sure that you will not regret the decision later.

A few questions you can ask yourself are: Do I trust my partner with my life? Can I see myself having a long relationship with this person? Is he pressuring me? Is having sex for me, or for someone else?

Although everyone has anxieties, if you don’t feel you are completely ready, wait. If the guy you are with really cares for you enough, he will understand that this is a big decision, and you don’t want to rush it. You do not want to give it up to a guy who is worried more about his stature with his friends then your feelings.

Tips

1. Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable, your bedroom may be the best place.
2. Choose a secure time when roommates / parents / friends won't come barging in.
3. Gain some experience ahead of time. You want to have explored foreplay for quite awhile before you take the plunge. Having a good understanding of how your and his body works as well as having played together will take away much of the tension. Make sure that you feel 100% comfortable in the nude with the lights on, as having sex will be much more intimate then looking at each other.
4. Communication is the most important thing in a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about doing it ahead of time to make sure that you are both thinking the same thing. Getting the topic out in the open allows you to become more comfortable with the topic.
5. Most women feel pain during intercourse the first few times because they aren’t used to having an object penetrating them. This can be reduced dramatically through fingering. Whether you finger yourself or your partner fingers you, stretching out your vaginal opening will definitely improve the experience.
6. Feel free to say stop when ever you want, whether you haven’t started, are starting, or are well under way. It may be because you are getting cold feet, or something about the situation feels wrong, the reason can be whatever you want, just make sure the person you are with will honor your wishes.
7. Excessive dryness of the vagina can be a problem, especially when nervous of the first time experience of intercourse. Although lubricant will not stop all the pain, it will definitely decrease it to some extent. K-Y Jelly is most often recommended, and it can be purchased in our online store.
8. There are a few positions that are really good for starting out, depending on your concerns. If you want to be in control, then we suggest having your partner lie on his back, and you can straddle him “cow girl style”. If you would rather be on the bottom, the missionary position is probably the best way to start.
9. If your partner has erection difficulties, or ejaculates prematurely - either of which often happens the first few times - be supportive. This can be one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a young man, and if not dealt with properly, can result in ongoing problems. If erection problems do happen, try to stimulate him a little, and take some time before you try to put it in again.
10. The most important thing you need to know is to practice safe sex by using protection. Whether it be to protect you from pregnancy, or to prevent contracting STDs, you want to protect yourself to the fullest extent. Until you have been with your partner to get checked for STDs, and you are on other birth control, there is no excuse for not using protection. Just because there is no excuse not to use them doesn’t mean that guys will do everything they can to get away from them, and be prepared to hear everything from it makes me go limp, to it takes away from the pleasure, to they were sold out. You can buy condoms at most pharmacies, or order them online from our online store.

Remember, this experience should be an extremely special and intimate time for both partners. Good luck, and remember, the best sex happens with people you care greatly about.

Foreplay

Foreplay is a fundamental part of the whole lovemaking experience. Most men and women experienced in sex will agree that the best sexual encounters should include long and sensual foreplay. A big part of the fun on any trip is the journey to get there – do yourself a favor and don’t miss out on it. A more attentive form of foreplay will bring increased pleasure to both partners, and make any sexual experience more satisfying.

Both partners need a little extra spice to get fully aroused and achieve maximum pleasure. The man may need to prolong foreplay to get an erection and the women will usually need the same to become properly lubricated. Unless you are both just wanting a ‘quickie’, there is no such thing as spending too much time on foreplay. The trick is to start intercourse when both partners are fully aroused and having a hard time (pun intended) controlling their desires from foreplay.

Foreplay includes a range of activities such as undressing, kissing, petting and oral sex; but you can add your own thoughts to the list. Sensitive foreplay is so important to good sex because it will help both partners enjoy sexual intercourse more, and it will especially help women reach orgasm more often. Most woman need prolonged stimulation in order to reach complete arousal, and foreplay will provide them with the required encouragement.

There is no such thing as the definitive way to foreplay; it is not about pressing the ‘right buttons’ in any pre-determined order (unless after trying everything out you find that is what you both like). It is about understanding what makes your partner tick and supplying those things that make the experience exceptionally pleasurable. There are many ways to give your partner extreme pleasure, and it all begins in the brain. Compliment their appearance or other attributes, especially if they have a low confidence level; show them that you care about them and what they enjoy.

Creating the right environment for sexual intercourse is all about paying attention to the details, which is especially important at mature stages in the relationship. For example, make sure the room is warm, the lighting subdued and that the appropriate music is playing. Once the mood is right, take the time to undress each other slowly, because the act of removing your partner's clothes can be an important part of successful foreplay. Many find that undressing increases the eroticism - stimulating and intensifying the feeling.

During foreplay, go slow; begin by kissing and caressing. A kiss is usually the first physical expression of love and desire, but it is also often forgotten during sexual intercourse. During intercourse, kiss the different parts of your partner’s body, and don’t be restricted solely to the mouth. Many women complain that their partner doesn't kiss long enough and rushes the movement directly to the genital area. Don't be shy to experiment on every part of the body (for example, many women enjoy particular kissing and nibbling attention to the neck and shoulders) - and remember to prolong the foreplay with more kissing and caressing.

Another reason foreplay is important is for the learning experience. Foreplay is the perfect time to spend time understanding what your partner likes because without that, you will never understand what they really need to be fully stimulated. Don't be shy; ask for feedback and also give your own. Both partners gain from good communication during foreplay and lovemaking. If words fail you, either SHOW or GUIDE your partner in the direction you want, and encourage them to do the same.

Remember that only by communication can we understand what is required to improve - and that practice makes perfect!